Area Man Shouldn’t Drink So Much Coffee

Climbing up to the stairway to the Acropolis I can feel the dark Athenian coffee start to gurgle in my gut. When I reach the top it’s time to find a restroom, and fast. Signs lead down an ancient stone stairwell next to the Parthenon. There’s no seat on the toilet, but praise Zeus, there’s a roll of toilet paper.

And as I crouch there like a sick monkey it occurs to me that this is the very place where the great thinkers of western civilization took a shit. Aristotle, Plato, all crapping here, and for that moment I feel a sort of intellectual brotherhood rise up inside me like an intestinal cramp.  

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